Oh, the Places You''ll Name!

New Zealand or Aotearoa? You decide.

The translation of Aotearoa, “The land of the long white cloud,” reminds me of when Keanu Reeves first landed on our screens. “Keanu” means “cool breeze over the mountains”.

“Long white cloud” conjures up something infinite.

I have history with names and languages.

At birth, my grandmother named me “Nutan,” after a Bollywood actress. But the Welsh nurses pronounced it “Noootaan.”

I then became “Malini,” after another Bollywood actress. School teachers pronounced it Melanie. It didn't matter, because to my family, I am “Mala”.

Melanie proved handy with CVs and introductions.

On to my surname. Sharma, a power surname, favoured by the Hindu caste system. Actors and cricketers, many a Sharma. Surnames signifying lower castes are strongly discriminated against, globally.

Growing up in South Wales, Sharma rolled off the tongue, helped by one’s father being “Dr”.

But for the Mohammed I know, “Dr” on the passport doesn’t stop him from getting stopped at airport security.

Upon marriage I dropped Sharma and became Barrow. But years later I renamed to Sharma-Barrow, to preserve my Indian heritage.

My mother cautiously reminded me about Indira Gandhi, who was the daughter of the Indian Prime Minister, Jawaharlal Nehru. If she changed Nehru for Gandhi, I could change Sharma.  

Indira Gandhi is not related to Mahatma Gandhi, but the coincidence helps.

Sadiq Khan, the London Mayor, would turn London into a “Londonistan,” New Zealanders told me.

Obama was told he “would bring about the Biblical end of days.” His response? “Now that’s a legacy…..I mean Lincoln, Washington, they didn’t do that!”

Politics, the press and judiciary, all influenced by a few $$$ names in every country.

Lockdown is a “Keanu” in $$$ New Zealand bubbles, self-mandated to expand to driveway drinks and kids with horse-riding school chums, now skateboarding. More bubbles than an (Aotea)Aero chocolate bar?  Or as many as homes they own?

What’s in a name if the $$$ bubble bursts? Surpress it in the High Court. Not in the public Press, nor public interest.

Back to my home town. Wales revived Welsh starting with signs and announcements, and now much more.

Woke CEOs tweet the revived Te Reo, whilst their employees are still mistreated for sounding Te Foreign. Twitter Reo, the language of boosting egos and balance sheets.

Māori were punished for speaking Te Reo at school. Now it’s speak Te Reo! And you’re surprised some won’t take the vaccine?

When I lived in Rome, the Italians didn’t bend for English. I learned Italian “pronto”.

I once met an old Aucklander named “Amadeo”. When I called him “AaaaMaaaaDhayo” his face lit up. Pronunciation is emotional too.

India changed its city names back, too. Bombay is “Mumbai”. Yet Indian lives are still full of English, or “Hinglish”.

Being Melanie doesn’t make me less Indian. But it fools the fools in to thinking it does.

When we went to see the artist formerly known as Prince, Purple Rain didn’t sound different.

“You only know how important your language is, once you stop hearing your family speak it”, warned an old Jewish American Kiwi, in 2016.

On trips to Southall in the 1990s, the area that serves Heathrow Airport, signs at the station would be in Punjabi and English. I thought that odd. But recently there was a COVID announcement in Hindi at the supermarket. It took a pandemic for that to happen in New Zealand. It is a good thing.

Hindi is the soundtrack to my life. The tape just chewed up by a pandemic.

A “creole” is a language or dialect that has mixed with either English, French, Spanish or Portuguese due to its people being conquered and indentured. Hence, I can follow conversations in Fijian and Mauritian not having once stepped on those shores.

English, the Casanova of languages, spreading its seeds but always wanting to stand alone.

India, Wales and New Zealand, the places I know well, where English took over. Two pounced back.

Anyone for Reolish?

Aotearoa will fill a gap and be a gesture towards the inequities of historical acts. But we’ll need more than a name to rise up in the OECD rankings. When the Prime Minister naming her daughter “Aroha” hasn’t made change, how will renaming to Aotearoa?

But Aotearoa will be holistic, cathartic and authentic, even if hypocritical.

New Zealand sounds triumphant and is well established. A name more likely to protect our shores over wooly cloudy symbolism, no?

How about option three? Great New Zealand?

But isn’t there something synthetic about New Zealand? New Zealanders don’t really behave like the people of the Motherland. They don’t complain and don’t do things in a hurry. They shut down over January and February!  So why not go for a name aligned more with Pacific culture?

Is it really about left or right?

Shouldn’t we focus more on going up?

Choose quickly so we can go higher than Aotearoa and beyond New Zealand.